This week has been like Festivus in March. You have endured the feats of strength. Few prevailed.

Now, it becomes less like Festivus in that we are skipping the airing of grievances and giving out awards instead.

Not receiving prizes, because smugness is enough

Best, Most Creative Comments Left Here: Richard

Why leave short remarks when you can write small stories?

Best Breakfast: Chocolate chip pancakes.

Best Most Secret Society: The Royal Society of Sardine Swallowers

Did you doubt this sort of thing existed? Well, it does.

Best Salon: The Dirt Salon

Best of the Ten Thousand Slogans/Brand Campaigns: “Hartford Has It”

There’s no dreaming. No wishful thinking. This is what we got. You will take it and you will like it.

Best Trailer to a Fake Film Shot in Hartford: Second Wind

Best Tanning Salon: The lawn of Bushnell Park during the Greater Hartford Festival of Jazz on the day when your sunblock is handily on the bathroom counter instead of in your purse.

Best Museum: Connecticut Historical Society. Here’s why: Corpse Preserver trumps Picasso.

Thing That Should be in Hartford but Isn’t: Hartford Baking Co., oh why must you be paying taxes to the next town over? Why must your tasty scones be so close yet so far?

Best Speakeasy: Right, like I’m going to break the first rule of the speakeasy code.

Best Gym: The three park sprawl beside the Connecticut River (Riverside Park, Riverfront Plaza, and Charter Oak Landing) contains biking/hiking paths, a fitness and adventure course, fields, and steep embankments, all of which can be used year-round for toning and endurance. Things I’ve seen here: soccer, volleyball, baseball, cross-country skiing, sledding, dancing, cycling down steep hills covered in snow, rock climbing wall, rollerblading/skating, skateboarding, and jogging.

Prize Winners

Place this Place: Brendan M.

Runner-up and Starter-Up: Allison

I Wish This Were: Heather and Jennifer S.

Trivia: Jennifer S.

Caption: Chris

If you need to collect prizes or want to stop by and chat, the Real Hartford Happy Hour will be happening today (3/16/12) at La Paloma Sabanera from 3-6pm. The coffee house will remain open to the public during that time. This is casual.

Thanks for playing along all week. Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.