Instead of screaming into the void of Twitter, I bring you a weekly highlight reel of what it’s like going places in Greater Hartford when one is gloriously car-free. These posts are on a slight time delay because nobody needs to know exactly where I am when I am there.

When I wrote “poverty helps” to explain why it’s not hard for me to be committed or whatever to living without a car, I mostly meant it as a joke. But it’s also not. When I had a car, which was for most of my adult life, I had very little savings because insurance and all the other costs associated with legally keeping a motor vehicle. Every time I’m tempted by a motorcycle, I remember that even if it has a smaller carbon footprint and is less deadly to other road users, it still costs a lot to keep. Plus, where I would store it? My living room?

On a day when the bus wasn’t running I wanted to go to the woods and see fall foliage because why the hell else am I living in New England if not for the change of seasons? Biking, or waiting two days for the bus, were my options. (I’m not Ubering to rec areas. I’m not hitchhiking. I’m not asking friends to cart me around.) I’d made the trip by bike before and remembered not enjoying riding uphill next to people driving fast on Farmington Avenue. I mapped the route and saw the elevation change. I considered another way, which would be longer but on quieter roads and get me through a back entrance. Only another 100 feet of elevation. I went with the latter, not thinking that the extra hundred feet was doubling what I’d already struggled with. Don’t math before coffee.

On the Fern Street hill between North Main and Mountain Road, I decided that if I did not literally die on that hill, I would start looking for an e-bike. Then, I turned around and rode home another way, somewhat defeated. (I would take the bus to the woods another time and be rewarded with a black bear sighting)

Two things, actually three, redeemed this. I had a valid reason to use the new section of bike path along Trout Brook Drive. Someone got annoyed with me because I did not return their greeting; this was when I had not entirely recovered from the hill and felt like spending no extra energy on anything. And, I ran into a friend when everything leveled out and I determined that I may have survived The Hill.

The decision to look seriously at e-bikes turned into predictable detours. Maybe I want a Vespa? What about electric motorcycles? Am I ready for a motorcycle? Is the world ready for me on one (again)? Again, where would I store it? OMG, motorcycles are expensive. When did that happen? Okay, back to bicycles.

I’ve learned my lesson about buying certain things online without seeing them first. Shoes were enough trouble to return. I’m not going through all that with a bike. This matters because bikes are not actually one size fits all. Maybe if you’re 5’6″ this is not something you ever need to think about. I am not 5’6″. I went a few places, sat on a few bikes. Played “Stairway to Heaven” until someone came by to assist me. Found one that will work for me. So, now the question is: when we gettin those e-bike rebates, Connecticut?

To distract myself from the human condition and lack of endurance/strength accompanied by lack of e-bike, I ran away to New Haven for a bit. After all the train and bus drama of the summer, it felt bizarre for all trains to be right on time and not crowded. Still bummed that the rental bikes are gone in New Haven because I would’ve liked to have seen more of the canal trail than I felt up for walking. Some day, people will decide that it’s obnoxious that the last train out of New Haven to Hartford on a Saturday night is 7:33. I’m not about the party life, and even I think this is ridiculously early. Over the summer there was a band I wanted to see at the Arts & Ideas festival, but they didn’t even get started until that time. I would’ve had to stay overnight.

Here’s another pitch for trains (instead of cars): you get to enjoy looking — really looking — at the foliage without risking a collision.

UNDER THE BRIDGE

A friend texts to ask if I’d been under the bridge lately, at night.
This isn’t even in the Top Ten of strangest messages I’ve received.
No, I had not been there in the last couple weeks.

A few years ago, I was at this hideous meeting in Parkville. Someone in the community was griping about having to wait in his car at lights because pedestrians would press the beg buttons and walk away. He didn’t seem to think that meant pedestrians should have automated light phases or less time to wait for them. But also at this meeting, which was all about what to do with Bartholomew Avenue and the surrounding area, some guy expressed his fear of walking under the train bridge at night. I laughed.

I’m still laughing. The lighting was fine then. It was fine before this artsy installation. Obviously I enjoy the aesthetic, but I have to wonder, as I have before about certain investments in Parkville: how many places in Hartford have worse lighting that would have benefited from basic lights?

But, cool. Now everyone will be stopping their cars to do sexxy photo shoots in the lights.

TRUNK OR TREAT?
More like bunk.


How do I explain everything that’s wrong about this concept? I don’t have the time, so here are three things off the top of my head.

I know there are lurkers out there who never comment except when they’re pissed off about something I wrote, so this one’s for them.

Problem One: You are telling children that it’s safer to roam around a parking lot than to ring their neighbors’ doorbells. Holy hell. There’s the issue with how you can’t accurately assess risk. Those ducklings are far more likely to be injured in a parking lot than by any imaginable stranger danger. This gives parents an out from modeling pro-social behaviors like, I don’t know, having a friendly relationship with some of their neighbors. Nobody’s saying to befriend every person on the block or get up in everyone else’s business, but if there aren’t a handful of adults you’d feel comfortable with your kid turning to on your street, what are you even doing? Who does that kid know to ask for help if they lock themselves out of the house? Who’s that kid gonna sell their Girl Scout cookies to if they’re not allowed to talk with anyone?

Problem Two: If the concern is that drivers will run over kids, corralling the rugrats in a parking lot full of cars isn’t the answer. Are you working year-round to improve those streets, or just throwing your hands in the air? Are you advocating for sidewalks, sufficient street lighting so people can be seen in crosswalks, speed humps, making our roads less car-centric, or are you removing the right for kids to have some fun and freedom because heaven forbid we slow down the automobilists?

Problem Three: Way to suck the joy out of the holiest day of the year.

WHAT NEXT

Through October 28, you can leave comments here about what you think should happen to improve West Hartford Center. This is in terms of street design, not what types of retail exist.