While the HPD dead pool* is unprofessional, tasteless, and just one more way that members of the force have lost respect with those they vowed to serve and protect, there’s another issue with it that nobody, at least that I have seen, has bothered to mention: why it’s actually a problem. This comes through from those leaving comments on social media to the tune of “well, don’t murder then, problem solved.” 

Let’s put a pin in that for a moment while I tell you about an episode from one of my favorite television shows of all time: Reno 911!

For those unfamiliar with the partially improvised show, it was on Comedy Central from 2003-2009 and essentially mocked both Cops and cops. Most of the Reno force was played as dumb and morally bankrupt, which is what made it funny: those who were tasked with upholding the law were kind of the worst in a way that felt impossibly exaggerated.

On an episode titled “Execution Tickets,” the dimwitted Reno cops are able to get their paws on two, and only two, tickets to a prisoner execution. That storyline on its own would be gross enough, but to decide who gets to go, the lieutenant decides they need to distribute the tickets fairly. Fairness in satire means sending the cops on a (voluntary) scavenger hunt. Different types of perps earn different amounts of points. What quickly unfolds is the corrupt force plotting to or actually planting evidence, creating situations leading to arrests (like ordering a pizza from far away to get it there within the free delivery time and then busting the guy when he comes flying up), and dressing up the “criminals” to rack up the points. 

It’s funny because what kind of idiot police department would ever think a scavenger hunt of this kind wouldn’t immediately involve cheating? Nobody in real life would do this, right? 

When I heard about Hartford’s dead pool, my first thought was “did they learn nothing from watching tv?!” 

Let’s look at how a dead pool can play out.

Sure, some people might make their bets and think nothing more of it until it’s time for a winner to get the money. There’s something morally damaged about that scenario on its own, but that’s not my concern. I worry about the cops who, because they put their money on the corner of Avenue A and Avenue B, decide that when they get called in to help defuse tensions in that area, don’t do their best work. Maybe they drag their feet on responding. Maybe they find ways to egg on the parties in dispute. 

If someone knows they have the potential to get a couple hundred bucks — under the table and possibly when their Christmas credit card bills are showing up — it’s not a stretch that they opt out of intervening as they should, show up for calls without a sense of urgency, suggest a matter is resolved when it’s obviously still brewing. 

So yes, the message of disrespect is something to talk about, but so is this.

*If anyone reading this is unaware, Hartford Police Department (public employees), were recently busted for having a dead pool consisting of bets on where the first homicide of 2021 would take place in Hartford. According to Chief Thody, no actual wagers took place; it’s unknown if that’s because the situation got blown up before people could buy their location pins for $20. The internal scolding for this reminded the public employees that anything they write down can be shared, wrecking reputations. Considering there’s an entire blog out there that exists to cover what the HPD does, you’d think veteran officers would know better by now. 

**If you’re wondering why I chose a gross photo of dead chicken remains for this post, I guess it’s because this seemed more suitable than an innocuous stock photo of a police cruiser. FYI, the dead bird carcasses were on a Hartford sidewalk and reported to 311. These were marked as having been removed, but only parts of the birds were taken; the pic shows what was left behind days later.