According to the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “on average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day.”  Just this week a Connecticut man was convicted of killing his ex-girlfriend; this story was overshadowed by another court case, though women are at a much greater risk of being killed by their partners than by strangers. After the news broke of that other horrific crime, there was an increase in gun sales and security systems. When women are kidnapped by estranged husbands or stabbed to death by ex-boyfriends, no such security culture arises. These are still treated as isolated issues between a couple. A different type of alarm system, however, should be activated. The CCADV has compiled a list of warning signs which may indicate that a partner is being abusive:

Does your partner:

  • constantly criticize you and your abilities as a spouse or partner, parent or employee?
  • behave in an over-protective manner or become extremely jealous?
  • threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself?
  • prevent you from seeing family or friends?
  • get suddenly angry or “lose his temper”?
  • destroy personal property or throw things around?
  • deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards, or the car, or control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
  • use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children?
  • hit, punch, slap, kick, shove, choke or bite you?
  • prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with whomever you want to?
  • make you have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually that you don’t want to do?
  • humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?

They say that if you have answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions, then you may be at risk. Another list on WebMD included threats of deportation as an abusive behavior. Abusive relationships may begin normal, but become increasingly violent over time. Although domestic violence typically appears as male violence against females, it can also be caused by women against men, men against other men, and women against other women.

For help, call 1-888-774-2900 and/or visit their website for more information. Hartford Hospital has also compiled a list of resources for victims of domestic violence. The list includes resources in Hartford and in other Connecticut locations.