The City of Hartford and the Permanent Commission on the Status of Hartford Women kicked off Domestic Violence Awareness Month by hosting a community discussion on domestic violence last Thursday at the Hartford Public Library. The program brought together community leaders and veterans of the Hartford Police Department to educate those in attendance about the city’s laws and available resources for victims.

The program made apparent that advocates’ definition of what constitutes abuse is broader than what legal statutes recognize as punishable by law. According to Dr. Sweets S. Wilson, LADC, CCDVD, domestic violence “encompasses a pattern of control and behavior exercised by one person over another. The abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional or cyberspace … and can come in the form of the continuous use of demeaning words.” Sergeant Mathew Eisele of the HPD, however, made clear in his keynote discussion that domestic violence requires clear evidence of physical abuse.

The evening’s discussion was mostly in the context of men physically abusing women. At one point, Sergeant Mathew Eisele briefly communicated that men can be victims of abuse, but the issue of domestic violence in same-gender relationships was largely missing from the evening’s discussion.

As anyone who has been victimized by someone in the safety of their own home knows, abuse comes in many forms, and no one-size-fits-all definition can capture the injustices done every single day to men, women, and children. The requirement for clear evidence of physical harm leaves traumatized victims in a situation where they cannot seek help or safety until it’s often too late. While the state of Connecticut has come far in the way it responds to its citizens who are able to prove they’ve been victimized, we as a community have a responsibility to continue educating our state on the shortcomings of a legal structure that puts the burden of proof on the victim.

For more information on domestic violence and warning signs of domestic violence, contact the Connecticut Coalition against Domestic Violence or check out www.ctcadv.org. If you need help or a referral for an immediate crisis, call the Connecticut United Way by dialing 2-1-1 from any touch-tone phone.