Occupy Hartford, like many other Connecticut residents right now, is directing its ire at CL&P. Besides a rally they have planned for this coming Saturday, the group has released a play on Martin Luther’s Ninety-Five Theses.

In its entirety:

Disputation on the (Lack of) Power and (Absence of) Efficacy of (Executive) Indulgences Commonly Known as The 99 Theses.

By Occupy Hartford CT.

Out of love and concern for the truth, and with the object of eliciting it, we present the following reasons that CL&P must be held responsible for providing the services they promise and for which we pay them. We request that whoever cannot be present personally to debate the matter orally will do so in absence in writing.

1. Our Governor, Dannel Malloy stood at the podium and called for CL&P to “Repent,” which roughly translates to, “Do the job consumers pay you for”

2. The word “Repent” cannot properly be understood as referring to penance by the consumer in terms of increased rates.

3. Repentance means not only in the Executive’s heart; for such repentance is null unless it produces outward signs in various mortifications of the flesh. We mean increased staffing.

4. As long as hatred of the profit loss abides, the penalty of sin abides, viz., until we enter the kingdom of heaven, or refuse to pay our bills.

5. Jeffrey Butler and Co. have neither the will nor the power to demand any rate increases beyond those imposed by law.

6. Mr. Butler himself cannot remit guilt, but only declare and confirm that it has been remitted by CL&P. Clear case, the guilt remains untouched.

7. Guilt is not remitted to CL&P without, at the same time, making CL&P humbly submissive to the People of Connecticut, your customers.

8. Penance applies only to customers who are still alive, and none applies to the dead, unless you are a resident of South Windsor, in which case, the Fire and Police Departments will hold CL&P accountable for the possible injuries and/or deaths of their citizens.

9. Our debt to CL&P shall always cease to apply at death, or in any hard case such as ten days of having no power.

10. It is a wrongful act, due to ignorance, when CL&P retain the penalties on the customers in post-storm purgatory.

11. When rate increases were threatened even while customers remained in purgatory, surely it would seem that this seed was sown while the Executives were dreaming.

12. In former days, rate increases were imposed, not after, but before absolution was pronounced; and were intended to be tests of true contrition and loyalty to the power company.

13. Death of electrical power puts an end to all the claims of CL&P; even those experiencing brownouts are already dead to the canon laws, and are no longer bound by them.

14. Defective piety or love in a person without power is necessarily accompanied by great fear, which is greatest where the piety or love is least.

15. This purgatory is sufficient in itself, producing horror and despair… especially after having to sleep on your in-laws couch for over a week.

16. There seems to be the same difference between hell, purgatory, and heaven as between public utility and money-hungry corporation.

17. Truly, the pains of souls in powerless-purgatory ought to be abated, and charity increased. And $10 million isn’t going to cut it.

18. Moreover, it does not seem proved, on any grounds of reason or Company Scripture, that the souls of the Connecticut People are outside the state of merit.

19. Nor does it seem proved to be always the case that they are certain and assured of salvation, even if we are very certain ourselves. Just because I have power doesn’t mean my neighbor will have their power restored.

20. Therefore Mr. Butler, in speaking of the restoring of all power by Sunday at midnight, does not mean “all” in the strict sense, but only those communities who were lucky.

21. Hence those who preach indulgences are in error when they say that a man is absolved and saved from every penalty CL&P’s false promises.

22. Indeed, CL&P cannot remit to souls in winter-is-approaching purgatory any rate increases.

23. If plenary remission could be granted to anyone at all, we suspect would be only in the cases of the most perfect, i.e. to very few, i.e. the Executives and their McMansions.

24. It must therefore be the case that the major part of the People of Connecticut are deceived by that indiscriminate and high-sounding promise of relief from penalty. (Seriously, $10 million is not going to be enough.)

25. The same power as CL&P exercises in general over purgatory is exercised all over Connecticut, due to the nature of CL&P’s monopoly over the People.

26. CL&P does excellently when restitution is granted to the souls in purgatory on account of their filling out forms in order to receive the funds.

27. There is no divine authority for preaching that the soul flies out of the purgatory immediately the money clinks in the bottom of the chest.

28. It is certainly probable that when the money clinks in the bottom of the chest avarice and greed increase; but when the People of Connecticut rise up, all depends on the will of the People.

29. Who knows whether all souls in purgatory wish to have their power restored and their trees maintained?

30. We’re pretty sure they do, however.

31. One who bona fide is sure of his power staying on throughout the winter is a rare as a bona fide generous CL&P Executive, i.e. very rare indeed.

32. All those who believe themselves certain of their own salvation by means of Executive pay and bonuses, will be eternally despised by the People of Connecticut.

33. We should be most carefully on our guard against those who say that the monopoly of power in Connecticut is ordained and cannot be toppled.

34. For the grace conveyed by this monopoly relates simply to the deregulation decreed merely by man.

35. It is not in accordance with common decency to preach and teach that those who buy off souls, or purchase congressional favors, have no need to repent of their own sins.

36. Any customer whatsoever deserves to be treated with respect.

37. Any customer whatsoever who pays his or her electric bill should expect that some of that money go to preventive maintenance.

38. CL&P talks a good talk.

39. It is very difficult, even for the most learned among us, to extol to the people the great bounty contained in Executive pay, while, at the same time, praising playing card games with your family for the 10th night in a row as a virtue.

40. A truly contrite sinner seeks out, and loves to pay, the penalties of his sins; whereas the very multitude of indulgences dulls men’s consciences, and tends to make them hate the penalties. We love our indulgences such as refrigerators and furnaces; we can’t help it.

41. The deservedness of Executive bonuses should only be preached with caution, lest people gain a wrong understanding, and think that they are preferable to other good works: those of love.

42. Customers should be reminded that a $10 million relief fund is not to be understood as at all comparable with the works of mercy, as the damages are at least 40 times that.

43. Executives should be taught that one who gives to the poor, or lends to the needy, does a better action than if he cashes his $327,000 biweekly paycheck.

44. Because, by works of love, love grows and a man becomes a better man; whereas, by owning a multi-million dollar home in Avon, he does not become a better man, but only escapes certain penalties such as not having money in savings to replace the food in his refrigerator.

45. Executives should be taught that he who sees a needy person, but passes him by although he spends money for exotic vacations, gains no benefit from Mr. Shivery’s pardon, but only incurs the wrath of the People of Connecticut.

46. Customers unfortunately learned that they are bound to retain what is only necessary for the upkeep of their home, and should in no way squander it on indulgences like electricity and heat.

47. Customers were reminded that they purchase indulgences such as heat and light voluntarily, and are not under obligation to do so. Some people live in tents and do just fine.

48. Customers should realize that, over in his great big house, Mr. Butler has more need for devout prayer on his own behalf than for more money, as he already has more than he knows what to do with.

49. Customers should be taught that the Executives’ indulgences are useful only if one does not rely on them, but most harmful if one loses the fear of the customer through them.

50. Customers should know that if the extent of the backroom dealing, they would rather CL&P were reduced to ashes than be built with the skin, flesh, and bones of the customers.

51. CL&P should be willing, as they ought if necessity should arise, to give their own money (which, we’ve mentioned, they have a LOT of) to many of those from whom they would rather conjure late fees.

52. It is hopeless to rely on salvation by press releases promising relief, even if the CEO of CL&P, or indeed the pope himself, were to pledge his own soul for their validity.

53. Those are enemies of the People who ignore the People’s demands in favor of the paycheck.

54. The right to receiving a service that is paid for suffers injury if greater attention is paid to increasing bonuses than keeping the lights on.

55. The People cannot help taking the view that if indulgences (only being three days late in getting the power back on) are celebrated by one bell, one pageant, or one ceremony, the gospel (preventing power outages in the first place) should be preached to the accompaniment of a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.

56. The treasures of Executive pay and bonuses are not sufficiently spoken of or known among the People of Connecticut.

57. That these treasures are not fairly shared are clear from the fact that CL&P does not grant them freely, but only collects them.

58. The true treasure is flipping a light switch and having the light come on.

59. St. Laurence said that the poor were the treasures of the church, but CL&P leaves the poor in the dark and cold.

60. We do not speak rashly in saying that the treasures of electricity are not too much to ask, and are bestowed by us paying our electric bills each month.

61. For it is clear that we should get what we pay for.

62. The true treasure of Connecticut would be not relying on a profit-hungry corporation for one of our most basic needs.

63. It is right to regard this monopoly as most odious, for it makes the People of Connecticut colder, poorer, and smellier.

64. On the other hand, we haven’t played Monopoly in years.

65. Therefore the treasures of power outages are nets which, in former times, they used to bring families closer.

66. But now that we have refrigerators and televisions, we would like to be able to use them.

67. Electricity, which the CL&P extols as the greatest of favour, is seen to be, in fact, a favorite means for money-getting.

68. Electricity has been compared to the grace of God, especially after the 8th day of being without power.

69. CL&P Executives, in duty bound, must receive the payment of the electric bills of the People with all reverence and gratitude.

70. But they are under a much greater obligation to trim trees prudently and update infrastructure preventatively.

71. Let him be cursed who denies the outrageous nature of the Executive raises in recent years.

72. On the other hand, let him be blessed who is on his guard against the wantonness and license of CL&P’s pronouncements.

73. The same way, the People rightly excommunicates those who make any plans to increase consumer rates due to Storm Alfred.

74. It is much more in keeping with our views to excommunicate those who use the pretext of indulgences to plot anything to the detriment of holy love and truth. And power, by which we mean electrical power.

75. It is foolish to think that Executive status conveys so much power that they can absolve a man even if he has done the impossible and angered Connecticut residents enough that they made signs to bring to a rally.

76. We assert the contrary, and say that the CL&P’s apologies are not able to remove the least venial of sins as far as their guilt is concerned.

77. When it is said that CL&P is considering raising rates to pay for their negligence, it is blasphemy against the trust of the People.

78. We assert that our demands are reasonable and must be met.

79. It is blasphemy to say that a monopoly on power is acceptable and legal in Connecticut.

80. The politicians, who permit assertions of that kind to be made to the people without let or hindrance, will have to answer for it.

81. This unbridled allowance of indulgences makes it difficult for the People of Connecticut to maintain respect for their governmental leaders.

82. They ask, e.g.: Why does not Dannel Malloy liberate everyone from the purgatory of monopoly for the sake of love (a most holy thing) and competition (a perhaps even more holy thing) and because of the supreme necessity of electrical power? These would be morally the best of all reasons. Meanwhile he redeems Executive souls for money, a most perishable thing, with which to build large houses with swimming pools, a very minor purpose.

83. Why should inadequate staffing levels continue to be tolerated?

84. Why should outdated infrastructure continue to be tolerated?

85. Why should laws against monopolies continue to be ignored?

86. Why should Charles Shivery, CEO of Northeast Utilities make $8.5 million?

87. Why should Jeffrey Butler, CEO of CL&P have received a $2 million dollar raise over the past two years?

88. Why did Executive pay more than double for 4 of the 5 top executives over the past two years?

89. Why should CL&P be allowed to threaten us with rate increases?

90. Why should CL&P not have to pay their outstanding bills to out-of-state contractors in a timely fashion?

91. Why should CL&P line workers have to work 8 weekends out of every 13?

92. Why should CL&P line workers be expected to work 800 hours of overtime every year?

93. Why does CL&P employ fewer than half the number of line workers employed 30 years ago, despite a 50% increase in customers?

94. Why do Connecticut families have to rely on town resources such as shelters and debris pickup when a great portion of the destruction was preventable?

95. These questions are serious matters of conscience to the People of Connecticut. To suppress them by supercilious assurances, and not to refute them by giving reasons, is to expose CL&P to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Connecticut people enraged.

96. Away, then, with all who say to Connecticut’s people, “Peace, peace,” where in there is no peace.

97. The People of Connecticut demand answers.

98. The People of Connecticut demand power.

99. The People of Connecticut demand ADEQUATE YEAR-ROUND STAFFING LEVELS FOR BOTH MAINTENANCE AND REPAIR and NO CONSUMER RATE INCREASES.

Most critiques of CL&P have generalized the actions of a few to represent the company as a whole. In Occupy Hartford‘s satire, executives are at least specified as the cause of their anger.

Something barely glanced at in this satire, and almost entirely ignored by the general public, has been that the antics of CL&P executives, and the issues that have existed with this company for years, are mere symptoms and are not unique to CL&P. We need not look even on a national scale to see this. In recent memory, Hartford Public Schools’ administrators were offered (and accepted) bonuses related to state-mandated tests; meanwhile, teachers and paraprofessionals wondered if they would get pink slips.

Businesses everywhere have seen similar situations: those fortunate enough to still be employed are now being asked to do the work of several people because the company is chronically understaffed, all while those at the top are making no real sacrifices. There is a system that enables this. Look to that.